


Facing Fears

by CoffeeQuill



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Going Home, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt and comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Past Verbal Abuse, Reconciliation, past homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 04:36:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9475967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeQuill/pseuds/CoffeeQuill
Summary: John and Alex go to Charleston to visit John's family.John is nervous about confronting his father after being kicked out 5 years ago.Alex tries to comfort him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [one_golden_sun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_golden_sun/gifts).



> I literally did not know how to tag this
> 
> For one_golden_sun!!

The Laurens property in Charleston was more beautiful than John could have ever described.

It was far enough from the city for there to be plenty of open space. The grass was a beautiful green and the garden was full of beautiful, blossoming flowers. The trees were tall and green and under the warm sun, Alex felt relaxed. He felt calm and serene as birds sang around them.

He heard the car door being shut and John’s arm wrapped around his waist. “Listen,” John muttered, looking out at the property with distrust in his eyes. “I told my dad I was bringing someone with me and nothing else. He doesn’t know I have a boyfriend.”

“Sounds like I’m your little secret,” Alex said with a grin, but upon seeing the unrest on John’s face, he stopped and turned to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. “What’s the worst that could happen? He kicks us out? That emergency hotel room might come in handy. Your dad has had years to get used to you being gay.”

“You don’t know my father,” John said, pulling Alex close. “He rarely changes his way of thinking. He’s somehow more stubborn than you are.”

Alex pouted. “Are you low-key insulting me, Laurens? You love my stubbornness.”

“I love it  _ sometimes,”  _ John corrected, leaning back against the rental car. He pulled Alex with him. “But really, my father could be the same man who called me every name in the book and kicked me out when I told him I was gay. I just want you to be ready for an explosive reacti-”

The front door of the house swung open and a young woman stood in the doorway, her arms crossed. Alex recognized her as John’s younger sister, Martha. “Are you two going to stand there and grind on each other, or are you going to come in the house? Henry and Jemmy want to meet your lover,” she said.

A boy who looked to be around 13 appeared at her side, almost a perfect mirror of John, with the same dark curls and freckles. “Jacky!” He cried out, before running onto the porch and down the steps. Alex grinned and stepped aside, and the boy threw his arms around John.

John groaned at being slammed into and set a hand on the boy’s back. “Hey, Jemmy,” he muttered. “Good to see you, too.” James Laurens looked up with a childish grin, and the resemblance between the brothers was striking. “Did you  _ have _ to run into me?”

“Obviously.” James grinned, then looked at Alex. “Are you his boyfriend?”

“I am,” Alex said with a smile. “Alexander Hamilton.”

“James Laurens!”

Martha leaned against the doorway. “Hurry up, you three. Dad’s going to be home soon.”

Alex didn’t miss the way John flinched. He took his hand and squeezed. “It will be fine. You’ll see.”

“I don’t want to see at all,” John said, and he sighed. “Let’s go. You should meet Henry.” James let go of him and he walked to the house, pulling Alex along with him. James trailed behind.

The inside of the house was impossibly more beautiful. The floor was smooth dark wood and the ceilings soared; glass chandeliers shone in the sunlight and paintings hung on the walls. Martha and James were relaxed; this was home.

John was tense. It was a home with bad memories. Alex wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed a kiss to a freckled cheek. “Don’t worry. If it gets bad, we’ll bounce, okay?”

“Okay,” John whispered. “I just - don’t want to live through it again.”

“You won’t.”

Martha walked to the stairs, which curved in a rising square to the second floor. “Henry!” she called. “John’s here!”

“Coming!” came the response. In less than a minute, a 15 year old boy was running down the stairs; his blond hair was smoothed back and he wore jeans with a black t-shirt. Upon reaching the bottom step, he practically threw himself into John, squeezing him in a tight hug.

John groaned, staggering back. “You’re both trying to kill me…”

“Lighten up, big brother,” Martha said with a grin. “You’ve been off in New York City for years. The least you can do is let us hug you to death.”

Alex grinned. He liked Martha already.

“Where’s Polly?” John asked, taking a deep breath when Henry finally released him.

“She’s still at a sleepover with her friends,” Martha said. “You know, she doesn’t remember you well. You left when she was 3 and only facetimed on holidays.”

“I know.” John frowned. “I… should have come home.” Alex took his hand and squeezed.

\------

When Henry Laurens Sr. pulled up beside the rental car, John was shaking. Alex held his hand tightly, pressing soft kisses to the back of it. No sugarcoated words were calming him down.

The front door opened and Henry walked in. He had the aura of a powerful man and it was clear how Martha and Henry Jr. took after him in looks. Blond and straight to John and James’ dark and curly - it almost seemed impossible that he was father to all of them.

At the same time, Alex understood John’s hesitation and fear. Henry Laurens also gave off the aura of a man who was a threat, a man who was a homophobe. It was a difficult feeling to explain, but it was something Alex had learned to trust the hard way.

Henry’s eyes landed on John and he stopped. Silence fell over the room. John stood and Alex with him, their hands clasped tight.

“John,” Henry said. His voice was even. Something in his expression Alex couldn’t decipher. “It’s… good to see you.”

John was silent for a moment, then pulled lightly at Alex’s hand. “This is Alex Hamilton. My boyfriend.”

Henry looked at them for a moment. It put Alex on edge, to not be able to understand what he was thinking through his expression. He usually could get a good idea of what mood people were in, or what they were thinking, through their expressions. It was how he had met John at that club. 

“Your boyfriend.” A small smile was across his features. “I should have expected you to come home with someone.” He walked over and held his hand out to Alex. “It is good to meet you.”

Alex pulled his hand from John’s to shake Henry’s, a smile on his face. “You too, sir.” 

John was staring at his father, a confused expression on his face. “You’re not - going to get mad?”

“You’ve been gone a while, Jack, and I’ve had the time to think. I have to say, I regret the way I treated you, and I regret that I drove you out.”

John grabbed Alex’s hand, gripping it tightly. “Are you trying to tell me you’ve changed your mind about something?” There’s an accusatory tone in his voice. “You don’t do that. That’s your  _ thing _ in business. You don’t change your mind.”

“John,” Alex murmured, setting his other hand on John’s arm. “Don’t get worked up.”

“You have every reason to think that,” Henry said. His voice is calm. “But those issues never concerned my children. This is different, because it’s about  _ you.  _ I can’t say I understand, but I’d like to try, if you’d let me.”

John’s jaw set and he took a deep breath. He glanced at Alex, who smiled at him. Slowly, he let his tension drop, and he wrapped an arm around Alex. “You’re serious,” he said in a soft tone. “Actually serious. You don’t think I’m a disgusting fag and an abomination.”

Alex couldn’t help but clench his jaw at the words.

Regret shone on Henry’s face. “I know I cannot take those words back, John. But I’ve been trying to change from that way of thinking.”

All the fight seemed to leave John. His shoulders slumped and he stared at the floor. Then with one stride, closed the distance between them and threw his arms around his father.

Henry looked surprised for a moment, then wrapped his arms around John. “I missed you,” he murmured. “I’m  _ sorry,  _ Jacky.”

John didn’t respond.

\------

John’s childhood bedroom was enough to make Alex’s jaw drop.

“You  _ slept  _ in this?  _ Alone?”  _ Alex demanded, staring at the queen-sized bed in the middle of the spacious room. “What the hell did you do with the rest of the space, Jack?”

John smiled, setting his suitcase on the bed. “I slept in the middle. It was good for sleepovers. What did you sleep on?”

“A  _ cot.  _ Maybe a twin, if I was lucky.” Alex dropped his suitcase and let himself fall onto the bed, groaning at the softness. “... Foster homes don’t offer you the best.”

“Well, I wasn’t in the system like you.” John pulled out several t-shirts and set them in a drawer of his dresser.

“So are things okay between you and your dad now?”

“They’re…” John stopped and looked at him. “Not okay, exactly. Better. He says he wants to fix things as best he can, but… He can’t fix what I went through. What I felt. So I think it’s just… better, right now. If that makes sense.”

“It does.” Alex smiled at him. “C’mere.”

John smiled back, then walked to the bed and crawled on to lay beside Alex. Alex shifted closer and kissed him gently, setting a hand on his waist. They traded small kisses, pressing close to each other,

“I love you,” John murmured.

Alex smiled and kissed his nose. “I love you too. And I  _ told you _ this trip was going to be okay. You wouldn’t listen to me.”

John chuckled and pulled Alex against him. “Whatever you say, tomcat.” He kissed him again and rolled over to straddle Alex’s thigh, giving him a deeper kiss.  _ “Maybe _ I should listen to you more often.”

_ “Maybe?”  _ Alex pouted. “I’m always right, Laurens.”

John grinned and kissed his forehead. “Of course you are. Now, if you’d like to skip to ruining my childhood bed-”

“Absolutely,” Alex muttered. “Where’d you put the condoms?”

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat on tumblr!! @coffee-quill


End file.
